Frustration!!

Have you ever felt like you were in a dream? Vocal cords strained and throbbing from yelling to try to get someone's attention? Always surrounded by people and reality but feel like you are on the outside looking in saying, "hey i'm here, include me"? It is amazing how one person can make you happy yet make you feel so insignificant.

You say you did the so much today,

You say you are tired,

You say all you do is work and take care of the kids,

You, You, You!

Don't YOU know I do all of that and more? Don't YOU know that somewhere along the line I lost ME. I get they you are a pessimist and that you can't help but have a negative outlook, but enough is enough. When you are tired, or overwhelmed you decide the only person who is in your corner turns into your escape. Your words are like sharp rocks that tear apart at my layers piece by piece. And when I start throwing the rocks back you laugh or taunt me. Or you decide you don't deserve that. Well if I don't see a difference one of two things will happen you will chip every piece of my away with the rocks or I will throw all the rocks back at you at the same time. Either way it is not going to end pretty. You do mean a lot to me but that does not mean that I will be around forever.

My whole being has shifted and I get that happens when you go through the stages of life, but people that know me and love me wouldn't recognize the true me anymore. I am going to start doing the things make me happy. I need feel like a happy person inside and out and not just pretend to be happy so that no one suspects how I really feel! I am done with the pretending and am going to start to be HAPPY! You can come along for the ride or you can be stuck in your rut. Either way I'm moving on!